Sex Toy Review: Helix Syn V by Aneros
The Helix Syn V by Aneros
This review might be a little biased mostly because I can’t help but fangirl over all their products. If you haven’t heard of Aneros, you are missing out. Aneros is a company that specializes in prostate massagers, and girlllll do they know their stuff. They understand the anatomy of the prostate, the ass, the power of the male orgasm, and just overall male sexual health. So when they reached out to me to try out their new toy, I screamed like a little school girl. All their toys are specially designed to target the prostate and use the body’s natural anal contractions to massage you giving you access to a hands-free orgasm.
Although I will be reviewing the vibrating Helix Syn V watch below for a brief video of their Helix Syn Trident, the Syn V’s non-vibrating cousin, and get an overall feel of their products.
Judging the Book by Its Cover
When the Syn V came in the mail, I could not wait to open it. I opened it so fast I almost destroyed its beautiful packaging. If you have ever bought an Aneros product, you’ll know their toys come in a beautiful red and black box with a magnetic seal. I love how they go the extra mile to make you feel like you really ordered something special. It feels as if I’m opening a new Apple product, and it’s about to be gobbled up by my rectum. The contents are simple: you have the Helix, the instruction manual, and you have the magnetic charger.
Helix Syn V with charger
PRODUCT SPECS
A. Tip Width: 1 in
B. Mid-Range Width 0.9 in
C. Stem to Perineum: 1.5 in
D. Insertable Depth: 3.6 in
E. Head Width: 0.9 in
Upon opening the Syn V, the first thing I noticed is its smooth silicone texture. The next thing I noticed is that it’s not as intimidating I thought it was gonna be. For some reason I thought it would be thicker. This is mainly due to the fact that I have a very hungry asshole capable of swallowing an entire town. But I was very pleased to see how comfortably sized it was (see above diagram, coin for scale). I also love how it has one button that controls everything; on/off, vibration pattern, and speed. Having one button takes the guess work out of operation and less parts to lose. One button, 8 patters, 3 intensities. That’s 24 different possibilities to help you reach your Big O. “OMG” just won’t cut it. Finally, I love Aneros’ signature arms on all their toys. The front side hits your taint and the the rear sends tingles up your spine. Absolute geniuses.
Now you don’t have to use the vibration function because any Aneros product will stand well on its own when you just stick it in. I love that the Syn V can vibrate because I’m a filthy, greedy bottom who always wants more out of his toys. So as someone who always wants more, I’m glad that the Syn V takes only 3 hours to get to a full charge from empty and has a running time of about 6 hours on its lowest setting, 2 hours on full power. Thanks, Aneros!
Let’s Give It a Spin
For those of you in the know and in the sex education sphere, May is Masturbation Month. The Syn V coming to me in time for Masturbation Month is serendipity at its finest. I had a long day at work, and I have just wrapped up the day’s business on a Friday evening. I desperately needed to unwind, and the Syn V just happened to be sitting right at my bedside table. I took the neatest water-based lube (because silicone lube ruins silicone toys), dropped trousers, lied down, bent my knees to my chest, and in she went. I wanted to go slowly and leave my anal contractions to do all the work. Already this was very impressive as its angle was already hitting my prostate. With precum generating from the tip and my toes curling, I knew it was time to take it up a notch.
I started playing around with the vibration patterns. You have your basic flat vibration, pulse, heart beat, 1-2-3-hold, short and long, escalating strengths, slow and fast, and the last one cycles through the 3rd, 5th, and 7th patterns in rapid succession. I stuck with this last one because I wanted to treat myself. The power levels are 15%, 35%, and 100%. Now I know I talk a big game when I say how starving my asshole is, but I am also a person. Prolonged vibration to any part of my body can cause numbness, so because of this I stuck with 35% power. I wanted to enjoy myself, not be vibrated to a pulp. After settling with my preferred setting I lit a stick of incense, asked my smart lights to turn red, and I put on some Sean Cody as a cherry on top of my evening. After about 15 minutes of masturbating and savoring the vibrations I reached that sweet, delicious double orgasm from both my dick and my prostate. Holy shit. 15 minutes? Am I losing my touch or is the toy just that good? Whatever the case may be, I highly recommend everyone try it.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to clean up the mess I made.
Final Thoughts
Aneros, you’ve done it again. Absolutely zero complaints. No notes. This is a company that knows their demographic, knows the human body, and knows how to give its customers the best orgasms. I don’t think I’m ever going to stray from Aneros especially with the introduction of the new Helix Syn V. It’s a funny way to propose and ask for my loyalty to the brand, but I gladly accept. No prenup required. I might fuck around and wear this in public. No one would know.
Summary
I give this toy 5 jizz stains out of 5 (💦•💦•💦•💦•💦)
Pros: Soft, comfortable, just the right amount of vibration choices, perfectly shaped for ideal prostate orgasm.
Cons: I literally cannot think of any. It’s just that good.
Highlights: Good for both beginner and advanced prostate players. Lots of replayability and great to add for couples.
Room for improvement: I would love an app if possible. Sometimes it’s a struggle to reach down there. Although that means probably sacrificing comfortability to fit in all that tech, but I have high hopes that if anyone can make a compact prostate vibrator it would be Aneros!
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