Sex Toy Review: Satisfyer Men Wand

SexSex Toy

Feb 22

Satisfyer Men Wand packaging, including both front and back view of toy — The Satisfyer Men Wand, packaging and toy

As all of you should know by now I’m a huge slut for toys. I believe toys are an important part of any sexual arsenal as they provide an essential service to our sex lives. That service being they don’t talk back to us when we complain. Part of my sexual toolbelt is wand toys. I love wand toys and all the magical vibrations they have to offer. I was recently gifted a Satisfyer Men Wand by my friends at Good For Her to give it a ride, and I have thoughts. So let’s dig in!

Judging the Book By Its Cover

The box is sleek and black highlighting the toy’s “wings of pleasure” feature seen at the tip of the toy. On the box includes a recommendation by str*ight porn star Rocco Siffredi, also known as the “Italian Stallion.” Not a huge fan of hetero porn, T. B. quite H.. Too much fake screaming and moaning for me. But hey, if it’s good enough for the heteros, it’s good enough for me! I’m also not a huge fan of the “men” part of the title mostly because I hate men. It’s the 21st century, and we’re still gendering toys? Pretty sure the whole point of toys is that they don’t care about what parts you got so long as you feel great afterwards, right? But I digress.

In the package comes the toy itself, a quick start guide, the safety leaflet, and the magnetic USB charging cable. The wand is made of body safe silicone and ABS plastic, the same plastic used in LEGO toys, so this is totally safe to put in or on any part of the body. Just make sure you don’t step on it or suffer the wrath of the LEGO gods. The texture of the whole toy is soft and silky, kind of like holding your grandma’s newly moisturized forearms on a summer cottage visit. It takes 3 hours to achieve a full charge and has a constant running time of about 1 hour. Not sure what the science is behind that logic, but okay. With 10 vibration patterns and 5 different speeds, you have 50 different vibrations at your disposal. If that’s not generous, then you’re just a greedy bottom. The wing tips are flexible enough to comfortable wrap around any shaft, tip, or balls, and the wand is a lightweight 8.9oz; almost like a TV remote when your man is about to turn on the game but you grab it from him because he hasn’t washed the dishes yet. Speaking of wash, you can wash the toy and not worry about water damage as this has an IPX7 waterproof rating. This means you can submerge it underwater at a depth of about one metre for 30 minutes, and it would still function properly.

Let’s Give It a Spin

It’s a cozy Sunday afternoon, I draw a warm bath, light some scented candles, turn on some Kenny G, and I get to work. As I have not yet turned on the toy at this point, I was completely thrown off guard by how deep and rumbly the lowest setting was. Initially starting flaccid, I started to get hard within 5 minutes of using the vibrating wings to stimulate just my frenulum. The handle was shaped perfectly in a way that I can easily slide the wand wherever I wanted stimulation. I could rest the toy on the underside of my cock, I could massage the wand along the length of the whole shaft, I could also use the winged tip to cradle my balls. Needless to say I came in the tub without even reaching halfway through the toy’s battery life.

Watch a demonstration here.

Luckily one of my many lovers was available to try it out with me presenting the perfect opportunity to try out the other patterns. Ranging from classic pulses to increasing and decreasing waves our lovemaking was taken to a different realm when I had the toy wrapped around his dick, and I pressed my cock against his pelvis essentially sandwiching the toy between us to revel in the shared vibration. Reaching our simultaneous orgasm was so intense that we could not feel our legs afterwards and let the wand’s battery life come to a satisfying end as the three of us lay there spent.

Final Thoughts

The wand is very easy to use and easy to clean. Three buttons on the handle for intensity, patterns, and power. You can wash the toy with warm water and soap and pat dry. Being a silicone lube lover, I do not recommend the Satisfyer Men Wand to be used with silicone lube as this will break it down. Best to use with water-based lubes, and since the toy is waterproof, it’s a perfect match. The vibrations are so deep and rumbly as if Satan himself was speaking through the toy; since the vibrations are quite intense, they will run through the entirety of the wand including the handle which could mean a numb hand for longer sessions. Not a really pleasant feeling. But for a $50 toy — the price range will vary depending on where you buy it, but this is the ballpark range — this toy is quite the steal for all its features included plus a 15 year warranty! Overall, this is a great toy and I recommend it for everyone’s sex toy armory.