Sex Toy Review: Porta Plow by Fort Troff

The Porta Plow by Fort Troff, still demonstration

I’m such a lazy fucking bottom, and I am not going to pretend I’m not. I’m a god damn pillow princess because I deserve to be pampered especially when I fibered up, douched down, got my waterproof blankets, and cleaned my bedroom. But just because I’m a pillow princess does not mean I’m a lazy lover. I’m a huge gaping hole which tops come from all corners of the world to enjoy. The Porta Plow by Fort Troff allows me to keep my legs open for easy access. Here’s what went down.

Judging the Book By Its Cover

It’s a literal plastic bag. I wish it came in a nicer packaging because the website puts so much effort in to its design which is not reflected in their shipping. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries since I usually just throw that shit in the recycling. The product itself is cute and looks cool from the start. As someone who lives in a small space because housing is fucking expensive, there’s not a lot of room for a metal rig for a sling. I love slings and all the play it allows, but I would need a damn warehouse for what I want to do.

Luckily the Porta Plow is small and compact that it fits in a carry-on so I can bring it anywhere with me If the TSA asks, just say it’s one of those fancy neck pillows. That’s technically not a lie because it does have a very comfortable neck pillow that supports you just right. The straps are quite durable because they’re made of ballistic nylon, the same nylon used in seat belts. If you’ve ever had sex with me, you’ll know every session basically ends up in a car crash: a complete disaster but you can’t look away from it. But at least everyone is safe and nobody got harmed! The padded straps are soft and comfortable so they don’t dig in to the skin which I find extremely helpful since it goes underneath your knees, an area full of sensitive nerve endings that you don’t want a seat belt to leave welts on.

The pillow is small, so don’t expect to use it as a lift for your bottom’s pelvis. It’s meant to be small because it’s main goal is to support just your head and neck. That said, this small pillow does its job well. It retains its shape after hours of use and it’s sweat-proof. My body tends to run hot which means fucking me will involve a lot of perspiration. Having that sweat roll off the pillow makes it easier and more comfortable for me to take his cock because I don’t have to keep wiping my moist forehead. And if it did get really messy, clean up and storage is simple. Wash with warm soapy water, hang to dry, and fold neatly in your drawer or under the bed.

Let’s Give It a Spin

I hit up one of my lovers and told him about the toy, and of course he was ready to give it a try. We laid out the waterproof sheets and set aside the lube and poppers on the nightstand. Him being the eager McBeaver that he is, he wanted to try the sling first. He had a very easy time putting it on; one leg in at a time just like a pair of pants and situated the pillow just behind his neck. Legs are quite heavy and we all know how much effort it takes to hold them up while we’re topping. The great thing about the Porta Plow is that because it’s so durable it allows you to let gravity do the work and the straps keep your legs spread apart at the perfect length with zero effort. This was a fun experience for me as a top because as I was fucking him, I kept getting the urge to hold his ankles to keep them apart forgetting that the Porta Plow was already doing that for me allowing my hands to do more things to him. With my hands free and his legs effortlessly spread apart, I was able to choke him, pinch his nipples, tickle his feet, keep fucking him and reapply lube, and cover his mouth when he made too much noise. All this would not have been possible had I kept my hands supporting his feet like a peasant.

He goes, “I want this toy for myself! Where was this years ago when I was your age?”

God, daddy. My age. We’re only 13 years apart. Anyways. I finished inside him, so that I can get a turn. It is my toy after all. I found putting it on super easy just like pants. The straps were soft and comfortable and were able to hold the weight of my legs. Let it be known I’m a thicc sis, so I had some insecurities about it supporting me. But much to my surprise, we didn’t have any problems! And the straps were so easy to adjust. They were right by my chest so it was like pulling on those life preserver jackets on airplane demonstrations.

Speaking of demonstrations, watch the live demonstration of the Porta Plow here.

As soon as my hole was exposed and ready for play, he went straight to business. I love missionary position, and I think it’s so underrated, so this toy is a definite must-have in helping you play for hours on end. With my hole just out in the open and easily available for access, we were able to fuck, fist, and do whatever we wanted for quite a long time. He also had the same urge to keep my legs open with his hands and forgot that the Plow was already doing that for us. I have extremely sensitive nipples which are imperative to helping reach multi-orgasmic levels. As he was fucking me only minutes after I came inside him, he was fucking me hard and his free hands allowed him to choke me and flick my nipples which helped me reach orgasm for a second time. And the thing with sessions with daddy is that once we reach an optimal position and speed and arousal level, we need to keep all those factors at constant levels. The Porta Plow helped with this in maintaining angles, allowed him to thrust with consistent speed and strength, and assisted us in doing my favourite thing: making out while fucking. Needless to say he came inside me and collapsed on me as our hot and sweaty bodies dry heaved in the heat of it all.

Final Thoughts

I love this toy so much, and I sincerely believe that every single person out there regardless of sexual prowess should have this. It’s an awesome toy for beginners who want to step in to the world of kinky toys, and it’s amazing for more experienced fuckers who want to take their kink on the road. I will say that there will be some strain on the hip area if you hold this suspended leg position for a long time, but that discomfort goes away with more practice and time. I love that this is so easy to clean and store. It looks quite harmless at first sight, so it’s like having a sexy little secret with you on the plane should you choose to bring this with you in your travels. Whether you’re the top or the bottom, you’re sure to get a lot of mileage out of this simple yet beautiful toy that you must have in your collection.

Summary

I give this toy 5 jizz stains out of 5 (💦•💦•💦•💦•💦)

Pros: Durable, compact, easy to clean, great alternative to a full sling

Cons: My only con has nothing to do with the toy. I’m ordering from Canada, and the website apparently has had some issues with credit card companies in the past. I had to call my bank to let them know this wasn’t a fraudulent purchase. I was a small thorn in my side, but it does not detract from the toy use experience.

Highlights: Accommodating of all body types and sizes, a detachable pillow for you to use however you need, very comfortable leg straps to keep the skin unscathed

Room for improvement: I’m being nitpicky at this point, but maybe they could do with better packaging and give their customers more designs to choose from instead of just black. A plastic bag just seems mediocre and lazy considering Fort Troff is a known name in the sex toy industry. Also I do have a motif when it comes to my sex toys, and as sexy and classy as black is, I would love a splash of color to my toys.

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